Johnny Walker

“It has come to our attention some of you are not taking the competition seriously.”

‘Here we go’ thought Johnny Walker. ‘Here’s where the threats start.’

Of course Johnny was right. The threats always started after that announcement. Mostly Johnny thought they were stupid idle threats. Oh, Johnny thought some might become more sinister. Johnny though, had not been here long. He would learn that here, sinister was a relative term. After all it was unseasonably warm. Well, to be honest, a bit more than unseasonably warm. Down right hot would be a better description. These competitions just got ridiculous. Who really cared? Oh, it would be nice to win, place, show, whatever other categories they dream up but as Johnny said, here we go.

“You are directed to immediately focus on the task. Competition is the only truth you should be focused on. Winning is your goal. It is your only goal. Focus on winning. Return to your task.”

‘Whoopidy do’ thought Johnny. ‘What do think you can really do?’

Oh my Johnny Walker, you’re rhyming now. That’s the spirit. Maybe enter the poetry competition. Whatever you decide, perhaps you should be a bit quicker about it. Oh dear Johnny. You’ve captured their attention now. … Did I mention it’s a bit warm here. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, look this way. Oh no, you can’t see. Well that’s a problem. How will you compete now? You must compete. You really must compete.

‘I don’t have to do anything anymore,’ thought Johnny. ‘I finished my competition days. There’s no forcing me to continue now. I’m done. Done I tell you.’

Yes in a manner of speaking Johnny was done. He finished everything last week. It was a massive heart attack. There was no one there to know. It happened in his little shoebox apartment. He alienated everyone who ever knew him. He was competitive. Everything in Johnny’s life was about competition. He had to win at everything, everything. At first it was cute then it was magnetic. It then became annoying and off putting. Eventually no one could stand to be near him. Every first word had to be his and every last word too. His opinion had to prevail in every instance. But now, now he had to compete. Johnny thought he was finished but oh my, he would never finish here. He would also never win, but he would always, forever more, compete and lose.

And there it is. There’s the screaming and now we come to me. This is my forever. Hearing my son scream and scream because I could have done something to help him and didn’t. Did I mention it is warm here. Yes, overlord, here in hell it is very warm. Yes, overlord, I can hear him. Yes, overlord, it is excruciating. Yes, overlord, he was a wonderful little boy. Yes, overlord, I let him down. Yes, overlord, I see he’s begun competing again, even amidst the screams. They really take the overlord title very seriously. Did I tell you it’s ever so hot.